I'm for all of these

"I'm for crushes not acted upon, for admiration from afar
for the delicate and the resilient and the fragile human heart,
may it always heal stronger than it was before.
For walks in the woods and then for the woods themselves,
by which I mean the trees. Definitely for the trees.
Window seats and locally brewed beer,
and love letters written by hand with fountain pens:
I'm for all of these."

this section of a poem is really beautiful... courtesy of baihui's notebk....
no i can't spell it out for you you know it's never gonna be that simple....

fitting in

gosh the clothes that i cld wear 3 mths ago no longer fit. crap lah.

some things just don't fit in no matter how hard u try...

choices and fate

shd be rushing my hw and stuff now but ok just make this quick...

went for aep interview on mon after the (potential Z-grade) bio test and waited for one and a half hr for my turn ZZZZ. oh wells. it wasn't too bad i hope at least they didn't ask my ques bout arts scene and artists and censorship in art that they asked my other classmates....

the last part of the interview:

"u take bio rite?"

"yes"

"if there's 1 organism u wld choose to represent u or that u like what would it be? this has smth to do with ur creativity..."

....

-stuns-

"erm... organism? haha mm let's see..."

and i crapped bout how pple tease me bout my name as an organelle and then later he said

"uh huh, so what has that got to do with creativity?"

....

-stuns and stones-

"mm creativity... erm..."

and then all 4 interviewers went: " Ok, yup, thank you! (i.e pls leave the rm)..."

=( oh wells. haha. they didn't ask bout my artwk at all haha.

and and AND. ma'am pauline was working there! hahaz she was the one doing admin wk and calling pple into the interview rm though not for my interview. so after 1 and a half hrs of debating if it's really her and if i shd go talk to her i did. after my interview. so chatted for awhile like 15 min... she's still v nice and friendly and bubbly... asked about sj and hc stuff and then i told her im in tkd which was her cca also haha. oh noes i hope jiah isn't reading this otherwise someone's gonna get jealousss. lols.

ok stuff to do for aep:
-narratives using digital collage
-uob painting prep =s
-ILP!!!!!!!!!!! ZZZzzzz.
-theory essay
-hc arts fest designing

"so how do you think you show a passion for art?"

darkroom

The darkroom has too many similarities with life.

You enter into the darkness and uncertainty trying to carry out a process of developing a film, but the thing is how do you move forward when you have no clue of your own orientation? As you struggle to make it through, the only thing that guides you is instinct and self assurance. For the chemicals to react to form the image, you have to let in light... to let in light and make things clearer in life... but letting in light at inapproriate times will ruin the photo... there's so much caution to note.... Before the image appears, you place it in the developer and the fixer and there's that point where you have to wait and be patient, some things just take time. You don't know how things will turn out, sometimes you have this gut feeling that it would turn out bad or turn out well, whatever the case, the final picture will only be revealed when you step out of the darkroom, or in other words... when you step out of life...

they say it's hard to make it, in this part of town

you and i both know tears will bring us nowhere... although im in no position to make that statement when i used to cry so much more than u.

there's so many other things to think about, to wk towards and many other pple to care for.. dun try too hard for something to happen; if it's meant to, it'll happen sooner or later.

haha. and i wonder if all those were my advice to you or an attempt to convince and delude myself as well...

sorry i cldn't go for zonals today =( i really wanted to make it but given my current physical condition hmm i suppose u can say i'll make a pretty gd victim for case scenarios...
jiayou bah.

to all of us..

save me from this place

haven't been blogging in awhile.

nxt wk i've got math test on mon, aep test on tues, napfa and gp test on wedn, bio test on thurs, chem spa mock 'A' lvl test on fri =) i can do it =) (cannot also must say can lols)

work keeps me going and stops me frm thinking too much.. about other stuff. hmm although can't wait for a nice break. Haven't had fun in quite a while err i mean i have fun in my sch wk but like going out with all my friends haven't gone shopping for ages... and going back to ny... haven't been able to do all those and i think i've been neglecting all my close friends =( nvm at least i still see u guys in sch ocassionally... i feel so juvenile nowadays without intellectual stimulations.. being lame in sch everyday is amusing and creates a light-hearted atmosphere but sometimes it's not enough to satisfy...

my life feels rather empty now and i don't know what's missing. i stay in sch to try and find the answer and slow down my pace in life but sometimes searching in vain can be frustrating.

and everyday we await more surprises.

... although the lack of surprises might be a surprise in itself..