tell me, Raye

Tell me Raye, how can you erase a person in its entirety off the pages of your book, its role replaced or even dismissed. I want to know how you did it. Because even now as i lift my finger, hovering above the 'delete' button, it quivers. At work, in everyone's side profile or backview, I see a bit of you. When I hear the piano, I picture your fingers, thin, long, but precise, skimming across the keys. And even now, I can't stop relating the smell of freshly baked pastries to your comments on my baking abilities, or the lack thereof. Tell me, how exactly can you do it? Because I can't.

The Battlefield

Attempts to tame the flame
were futile.
water sloshing in buckets
only provoked it
shrieking further
growing to immense height
heat scorching

Daggers
sharpened and hurled straight
woven hastily, from words of blame

tension buzzes aloud
over the noise
like static from the tv screen
the cause for hair along your back
To stand
for behind every spoken word
more were
[Unspoken]

Death celebrates its victory
albeit a quiet one
the silence roars
clangs and bangs
hush! dont awaken the living

From their realms of self delusion
opponents successfully defeated
not much harm is done
As the soil bleeds....

the start.

this is so not what i had expected of my first day and this is also so not how i blog.

i m infuriated. no, not really. im better now, what's this feeling? it's injustice.
just because im the designer doesn mean im some shit at everyone's beck and call to do a total 360 degrees change to the design for you. after i've slogged my freaking holidays, i repeat, holidays, i dont expect anything much in return but what is returned to me is my own design. And it's not like it wasn accepted; it's just how they want to synchronise the designs. If the designs were to be synchronised then please. I could have been informed earlier. Before i had came up with my own. In the end im supposed to use some existing ____ design that is not me at all but i still have to work on it. i never knew bright red was supposed to go with dark blue.

i really dont know what to say or do except redo it to what they want it to be, trying to calm myself that i will have time to revise for bio by tmr. i will have time to revise for new media theory by thurs. and i will find time to ensure the tutorials and practicals are filed to be handed in. i will because i must.

And it's today that i got so demoralised about my language. so this is how i fare. this is how i fare to be transferred away to the other class. i feel mean but heck. im really upset now.

if i were a boy...

finally i found u

just spent a freaking an hr or more searching for my fav little white chi calligraphy plate... digging through cupboards thrice, combing my table twice, checking all the nooks and cranies. Deciding just in case some idiot had placed it with the kitchenware, i went into the kitchen and opened the cupboard.

And there it was in a corner, stacked among the other tiny plates that normally contain sauces, disguised as though it belonged.